Our Self concept is made up of three parts:-

1) Our Self Image

2) Our Self Ideal

3) Our Self Esteem

1) The Self Image

This often defined as the “kind of person we see ourselves as”. Some people may say “Well, I am a shy person. I don’t like talking to strangers”.

This is a very good example because this is something our parents told us not to do from a very young age. Perhaps causing us to believe that all strangers are bad (depending on the intensity and repetition of this statement). At the time this was very good and valid advice but over time this programming becomes a limiting belief which controls our actions and interactions in the world.

The Self Image is also limited by our habit patterns or paradigms. I may see Myself as a poor public speaker. Not because this is true, but because I have not yet developed the habits of a highly effective speaker. If I attend voice training lessons, seek out speaking opportunities and develop my skills as a public speaker, I will begin to change the way I see and feel about myself. This is sadly true because a lot of us are controlled by our present results. We see or perceive ourselves to be weak in a certain area and this makes us feel inferior, creating a self fulfilling cycle. We wait for physical proof that we can do it before we believe we can. We live from the outside, in. There are much better and more reliable ways of changing the Self Image by using imagination and concentration, we begin to see ourselves as a speaker from the inside out. We build a new image of ourselves as great speakers.

The Self Image is an inner representation of how we see ourselves, it is governed by our subconscious mind and we know that the subconscious mind and nervous system cannot tell the difference between what is real and imagined. So we use our imagination to become better at public speaking, or anything for that matter. (This will be discussed in depth in another article specifically on the Self Image).

This brings us to the second part of the Self Concept -

2) Self Ideal

This is the “me” I aspire to be. My ideal personality. The level of success and achievement we expect from ourselves can be determined by our ambition. Also, the kind of influences we have in life will play a role in this. Our Self Ideal is the Self we want others to see in us. It is the part of ourselves that we compare our actual present selves with.

Sometimes we hold on to a Self ideal that no longer serves us. Not because we are not able to achieve that ideal self but perhaps because we have changed our desires and grown into a new different ideal. Sometimes when we are younger, we may aspire to be like someone else whom we see is held in higher regard. As we grow and develop ourselves, it is important to make sure we have a clear mental image of what we want to be like, what we want to do, have and to become. If we hold an image of our ideal selves and we keep seeing that our current results do not stack up well, it negatively influences our Self esteem.

If we have a healthy Self ideal, one which truly reflects our burning desires, we can shape our daily thoughts, feelings, habits around them. Thus bringing ourselves closer to the ideal in every action. When we are congruent in our Self ideal as well as our attitude (Thoughts, feelings and actions) we develop a positive Self esteem.

3) Self Esteem

This is the product of your Self ideal and your Self image. Self esteem is the result of genuinely liking yourself and accepting both your strengths and weaknesses.

If we have a positive Self ideal and our current results (our present Self image) are moving us toward that ideal, we can develop a positive Self esteem. Negative Self esteem develops when our ideal Self and our Self image are very different. We feel that we should be achieving much more with our lives but for some reason we are not. This creates a gap between what we feel we are capable of and what we are actually doing or our present results. Self esteem develops from having a positive regard for ourselves.

Having a healthy Self esteem is vitally important to all of us. Yet, if we do not understand how Self esteem comes about we can struggle and frustrate our selves even more. Let’s focus today on developing unconditional acceptance of ourselves (Self esteem). If we choose a path, let’s be sure that it is our own path and not that of our family, friends or society.

When our goal is set we focus on thinking in the certain way which always brings results. We see ourselves as capable and creative beings, and then we move forward by ensuring that we feel good about ourselves and our new image, and most importantly, we take action to create our new improved lives. The life we really want can be created but we must first know exactly what that ideal life is. We must have a clear mental image of what we want and dwell upon it until becomes fixed in our subconscious minds. Then the habits needed to step into our ideal lives will be developed and our results will change.

With an understanding of the Self concept we are better able to adjust our Self image more in line with our Self ideal and continuously strive to close that gap and in so doing increase our Self esteem.

Ramon Watson is a dynamic Thinking into Results facilitator with Bob Proctor. He is passionate in providing service and giving people more of the means of life. If you want to improve any area of your life contact Ramon on

Cell (+27)73 980 8461

Or email on ramon@livingyourpassion.co.za

The law of all life is growth. All living things must grow if it continues to exist at all. Human beings are the same, we are either growing, expanding, stretching or were dying. At least this is what I have experienced in my own life.

When I first looked at this picture, I admired its obvious beauty and the expression of life and growth in its most natural state. Then i looked into it a bit further.

As beautiful as this little bud is, it only has so much room to grow. It is limited by its environment. The pot it sits in allows the roots to stretch out only so much, which ultimately limits the growth of the plant and prevents it from expressing its true beauty and potential to flower.

If the objective of all life is growth and expression and the environment that growth is exposed to is limited, then surely we are limiting life itself. In a similar way I find that being in the same environment day to day, exposed to the same limitations and space, we sometimes conform to those limits.
When I speak of environment, I consider the house we live in , the company we work for the social groups we get involved in and also the inner environment of self, our predominant mental state as well as our attitudes towards life and our role in it.

If we have outgrown our current environment then we must endeavor to move to a bigger arena, a larger “pot” so to speak. That involves taking a risk, the risk that we might fall at first and the understanding that falling and stumbling is a necessity of growth. We must become uncomfortable and place ourselves “out of our depth” for only then can we grow and expand our roots allowing our fruits to fully express themselves.

Which areas in your life are inhibiting you today? Is it the outer environment that you exist in, or is it a limiting belief, attitude or self image which holds you back .Whatever it is,  make a decision not to remain a seedling in life but to grow fully and express your own unique individuality. Come on … The world is waiting for you. It will be worth it !

Mainstream doctors today have only one tool with which to heal patients and that is medicine, or chemicals. This only treats the symptom of an underlying problem, which has its root cause in the mind. Most of us have no idea what our mind is or how it works. This diagram will make it clear.

For simplicity sake we say the mind is made up of two parts, the conscious and the subconscious.We also have a body. In the diagram the mind is larger than the body. We do this to emphasize that the body is an instrument of the mind.Whatever is happening in the mind will be expressed through the body, through behavior.

The conscious mind is the thinking, educated mind. This is where our ability to choose what to think starts.
Our conscious mind accounts for roughly 5 % of our mind power.
The lower half of the mind is the subconscious mind. This is the feeling or emotional mind. This is the part of mind which stores everything we’ve ever experienced. It stores our self image, beliefs, conditioned habits and patterns and our memories.

School crams things into our conscious minds and if we can repeat them we pass but that doesn’t help us much in the real world. In the real world you only get rewarded for what you do, not what you know. What we need to learn is how to condition ourselves to adopt habits that are productive. We need to change our paradigm. The paradigm is a group of habits. These paradigms determine our results.

So our conscious mind thinks and it thinks in pictures. Just think of a pink elephant.
Our subconscious mind is like a recorder, so whatever we habitually think and feel intensely will be impressed on the subconscious. Whatever is impressed on the subconscious will be expressed in the body. Feeling is Vibration. Feelings are always expressed through the body as actions and our habitual action (paradigms) create our results.

If you want to know what you have been thinking about, simply take a look at your results they never lie.
If you don’t like what you see, you simply need to tune into another frequency. Develop an image of what you want. Get excited and inspired  about your new image and see how this changes your habits and ultimately your results.

Feel free to comment or request to be a part of my mastermind groups by sending an email to ramon@livingyourpassion.co.za